How the Heck Did I End up In Leadership?

For me being one of the most apostate and doubting people regarding my faith that I know, it is kind of ironic that I am now the acting 'Ward Executive Secretary' and sometimes Ward Clerk in the Ward right now. It is really kind of hard sometimes to do when I am not really 100% positive in my own faith in relation to God and to Jesus for me to be doing this. Sometimes seeing all the inner workings of the Church can be kind of a faith destroyer. At other times though it is good to see that the Bishop really is concerned about the welfare of the members and that the councilors are really trying to do their best to help the members to be better people within the parameters that they are given from the Stake. I will admit that sometimes I disagree with some of the ideas that come down from the Stake, such as the new meeting changes for the Spanish 'branch', and I honestly don't see where that will go. I suppose though we have to work with what we are given and try to make the best of it.

What I think that my main priority during the next year is going to be is to try and get a better relationship with God and Jesus Christ. I have come to the conclusion in my own thinking that even though I may have problems with my faith at time, my religion of birth, ie. Mormonism, is the one that makes the most 'logical' sense when compared with 'Protestant' Christianity.

So I believe in God, I believe in Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, I believe that they are 3 separate, but 1 in purpose. I believe that if we are literally children of God, then when we grow up, ie., progress to a certain stage, we will literally be like them. That the statement to be like Jesus was NOT metaphorical. I am hoping things will come into more light which will be more supportive of Latter-Day Scripture over time, but for now I guess I do need to exercise a little bit of faith. This I guess is where I am at now.